AMWOC - Second Installment

Here's a few more words on my way to a million. I got bit by the bug hard last night, and I'm writing a story. I've got more than 1500 words so far, and most of the major plot mapped out.

This is intended to be a juvenile SF book, along the lines of Between Planets or Space Cadet by Heinlein. It takes place on Mars.

So far there are only two characters that I have a solid grip on: a father and a son.

I've put a snippet of dialogue in the extended entry. This is pretty rough (not heavily edited by any means), but I'm curious: does this sound like a natural conversation between a dad and a 12-year-old?

Does it make you want to learn more about these characters?

Let me know what you think.

“Just watch out for the Burroughs Burrow wights.”

“Burrow wights? What are wights?”

“Wight is an old-fashioned word for ghost.”

Jake thought about this for a few minutes. Then: “Dad?”

“Yes, son.”

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

“I … I don’t know what to believe, son. I don’t think so.”

“What about mom and Pete?”

“I’d like to think your mom and brother can see us and that they’re still with us somehow. But I’m just not sure. I believe what I can see, what I can feel. I’ve never seen a ghost. And as much as I would like to see or touch your mother again, to hug your brother … I just can’t be sure.”

“So what’s the story of the Burrow wights? Have you ever seen one?”

Paul Robinson chuckled gently. “Son, that’s just an old story the folks here tell to add some notoriety to their city. Some early Burroughs settler thought it might attract some tourists.”